best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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