whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
