Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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