How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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