Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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