i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
