True but thats because hes a fetus.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
