I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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