Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize