Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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