i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
