Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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