Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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