I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize