The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
