Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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