he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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