the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
