Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize