I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
