thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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