Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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