I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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