she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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