he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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