i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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