you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
