Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
