She is in my trunk
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
