i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
