She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
