i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
3pm strippers are depressing
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Let's get the cat blown out
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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