yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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