Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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