Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
