That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
