HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize