just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Four minutes until I can fart!
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
