next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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