these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
