Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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