Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
