ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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