I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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