We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
