i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
