ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize