And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
