The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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