just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
