I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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