i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i out mim tonsoeep
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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