Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
