Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
