piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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