you would pick up someone in the library
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize