I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
