One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
