Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
