whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
