Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
