Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
