Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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