I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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