So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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