is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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