I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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