doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
